PARENTHOOD ON SCREEN – HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!

I’m becoming more aware of representations of parenthood in the media and, more specifically, in the tv programmes and films that I watch. I thought it might be good, every now and again, to have a look at a specific scene or moment on screen which has piqued my interest, so I’m starting a little mini-series in my blog (maybe once a month?) called Parenthood On Screen. Welcome to the first instalment!

The idea for this mini-series was sparked by a moment in How I Met Your Mother. In season 8, episode 13 (Band or DJ?) Ted and Lily share a conversation on the roof which goes something like this:

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Ted Mosby: I am happy for them.

Lily Aldrin: Is all you let yourself say out loud. Because if you said anything to the contrary, well, then that would make you the most awful person on this rooftop. So I’m gonna give you an out.

Ted: And how are you gonna do that?

Lily: By saying something that is even more awful.

Ted: Like what?

Lily: [starts crying] Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a mom. Sometimes I wanna pack a bag and leave in the middle of the night and not come back.

Ted: [pauses] Robin shouldn’t be with Barney, she should be with me.

[pauses again while they sit down]

Ted: Are you serious?

Lily: I don’t know. I mean, I love being a mom, I-I love Marvin so much. But you remember when I wanted to be an artist? Art was my whole life, and… and now it’s been months since I’ve even picked up a brush. I-I spend the whole day taking care of kids in my job, and I come home, and it’s more of the same, and it’s just… it never lets up. It’s just really, really hard, Ted.

Ted: Have you talked to Marshall about how you feel?

Lily: Have you talked to Robin about how you feel?

Ted: [sighs] Fair enough.

Lily: I think we just have to accept our lots in life, and… I have to be a mom to a beautiful, wonderful, if slightly constipated little boy, and you have to let Robin and Barney get a band.

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I’d seen this episode a few years ago, and remember it being a thought-provoking and emotive scene at the time but now, being a mum myself, the conversation hit me even harder. Lily’s honesty is striking, as she voices feelings which I believe many have had, but few would ever dare speak aloud.

About a month before Pickle arrived, my husband and I went on a ‘Babymoon’: a last opportunity to go away together as a couple before our duet became a trio. We escaped down to Yorkshire and had a really lovely weekend exploring the Christmas markets in York and Harrogate, and I think I can honestly say that it was one of my favourite weekends we’ve had together.

Very soon after Pickle arrived I was remembering that weekend, and was struck by the reality that things will never be the same again. Obviously I knew this when we were planning a family, but after six and a half years of it just being the two of us, we now will always have an extra person to consider, and to include, and to plan around. And, if I’m completely honest with myself and with you, there was a tinge of grief for what used to be. Much like Lily, I found myself looking to the past, aware that both my life and my marriage were changing irrevocably. As much as I had tried to prepare myself mentally for this new life, there was still this sense of dawning realisation when the change actually occurred.

I love being a mum. I love Pickle with all my heart, and I know full well how incredibly blessed we are to have her. I wouldn’t change that for the world. Our lives are so much brighter for having her, and I am so excited for the adventures we will have as a family. We will have amazing experiences and create lifelong memories, and that is a truly beautiful and marvellous thing. So I will remember the days of just the two of us with great fondness, but all the while looking ahead with excited anticipation for the fun that being a three brings. I have to be a mum to a beautiful, wonderful, and currently far from constipated little girl, and I am thankful.

Laura x

***If anybody would like to design me a better ‘Parenthood on Screen’ logo, please do!***