SIX MONTH APPRAISAL

As with any new role, I thought it was only appropriate to carry out a six month review. Here goes…

Please outline with which co-workers you interact most frequently.

Subordinate: Small Human. Primary Colleague: Husband. Trainers: The Grandparents

Do you understand the requirements of your role?

I believe that there are three main requirements of my role, those being to keep the small human in my care fed, changed, and happy. The objectives of ‘fed’ and ‘changed’ are usually met relatively promptly when the need arises. I have accepted the challenge of moving the small human on to a more varied diet, and have achieved mixed but messy results in this area. Particular success came with the introduction of parsnips. An additional requirement of the role is to ensure that the small human obtains a good level of sleep. The small human generally co-operates well in this area, which is beneficial to the achievement of all other targets. ‘Happy’ is often the more ambitious requirement to fulfil, although it is often directly linked to the previous objectives. A contented state at minimum is routinely achieved. Supplementary targets such as maintaining a clean house, cooking nutritious meals and writing witty blog posts are sometimes, but not consistently, met.

Please summarise your interaction with co-workers.

Interaction with my Primary Colleague is generally excellent, with clear, effective and positive dialogue. This is, however, occasionally hindered when the sleep objective is not accomplished. At this point I unfortunately become somewhat less coherent, but normal service is resumed once sleep has occurred, or chocolate has been administered. Dialogue with the small human often feels more like a monologue, and any attempt at conversation is usually met with babble, squeals and raspberries. I sometimes find it difficult to make myself understood and occasionally feel I’m not really being listened to. My trainers, however, are excellent at listening and responding to any concerns raised.

Please assess your performance in the following key areas, and indicate ways in which you could improve:

Organisation: Most days I manage to leave the house with everything I will need for the day. On one occasion I forgot to take a muslin out with me. This was an error of judgement which has never been repeated. Carrying a spare pack of nappies in the car at all times shows strong organisational skills, and foresight of potential issues. One way of improving in this area would be to take a spare set of my own clothes out and about with me, and not just a set for the small human. This would have been beneficial on a few occasions.

Timekeeping: In general my time keeping has been better than forecast. I am usually on time for meetings or gatherings (although as with university essay word counts, I believe that ten minutes either way is acceptable), and any instances of extreme lateness can usually be justified by the circumstances, most commonly a mistimed poosplosion or apukealypse from the small human. I feel that my timekeeping will improve if I can successfully convince the small human to poop more than 30 seconds before we leave the house.

Productivity: It could be argued that my productivity peaked six months ago. I feel that the scales I now use to measure my productivity are somewhat different to those used in my previous roles. when undertaking a direct comparison of my levels now to those before accepting this role, I would probably have to confess to having a seemingly lower level of productivity at this time. There are, however, factors which need to be taken into consideration when quantifying productivity. Namely the small human, who seems intent on limiting the amount I am able to achieve on a daily basis in favour of cuddles, snuggles and giggles. The best way to improve in this area would be to ignore perceived levels and scales of productivity, stop comparing with my previous roles, and enjoy aforementioned snuggling.

Enthusiasm: My zeal for the role does fluctuate on occasion. I find that it is generally at its lowest point at around 3am. Whilst I am unable to say that I am always entirely enthusiastic about this role, but the majority of the time, my enthusiasm levels are somewhere between 8/10 and 10/10. Maintaining these high levels is greatly aided by big, gummy grins and excitable giggles from the small human.

Do you feel you receive adequate support to fulfil your role?

The support I receive in order to fulfil my role is outstanding. I am particularly dependent on my Primary Colleague, and would be unable to work at my full potential without him. Not only does he share in the challenges of fulfilling the requirements of the role, often catching any metaphorical balls which I may have dropped, but he also moonlights in accountancy and, most importantly, looks after me as well. I am indebted to him, and am thankful for such an excellent, diligent and conscientious colleague. Additionally, the preparatory coaching I have received from my trainers has been thorough and comprehensive, and I am appreciative of their ongoing support, both moral and practical. The small human makes my role a joy, and is an absolute pleasure to work with.

Any other comments?

I am looking forward to the new challenges which I will face as this role, and the small human, continues to grow and develop.

Laura x