NOT A NEWBIE ANYMORE

It seems that everywhere I look at the moment there are teeny, tiny, squishy, brand-new babies.

A friend and I went on a little spontaneous trip the other day to a big shopping centre. Her small person is a week younger than Pickle, and we try to go on little adventures together from time to time. As we wandered round the shops, it seemed like we were surrounded by newborns. I’ll admit it, there is a small, involuntary reaction inside me at the moment when I see a newborn, as my heart cries out ‘Oooh…a tiny one!’ Thankfully my head still shouts louder than my heart at the moment. ‘It’s too soon! You’re not ready to do all that again yet!’ And my head is most definitely right. But it has made me realise that Pickle isn’t tiny anymore. Seven months in, she’s no longer got that brand-newness about her. Her bright blue eyes are wide open and seem to have settled into their colour. She’s fitting into her skin now – no more of those newborn wrinkles. Her quiet little coos and gurgles are turning into joyful giggles and excitable shouts of ‘Dadadadadada!’ And when I pick her up these days her legs no longer stay tucked up underneath her like they did before she realised that she was no longer squished up inside of me. Now she stretches out, flailing and wriggling, and eager to move onto the next adventure. She’s just not a newborn anymore. And that means I’m not really a newbie mummy anymore.

Some good friends of ours had a squishy of their own last week. Looking at photos of their tiny one compelled me to spend a good little while looking back at photos of Pickle from the last seven months. Seven months. That’s no time at all, and yet it feels like an age. She’s changed so much. She’s grown so much. Once again my heart cried out ‘Oooh…a tiny one!’ Shushhh, heart! Pipe down! That tiny one is all yours.

I found myself messaging back and forth with said friend in the early hours of this morning. It was so nice to have some virtual company when it seemed the rest of the world was tucked up soundly in their beds; a kindred spirit to share those hours that I would otherwise not see were it not for the small person demanding to be fed. I sent what I hope were reassuring messages promising her that she will, in fact, sleep again one day and that, for me at least, things got better after day 3. But, as I sat cross-legged on the floor in Pickle’s room at 1am in the feint red glow of Ewan the Dream Sheep, I started questioning what right I had to be offering advice. What makes me think that anything I have to share will be of any use? Does seven months suddenly make me an expert in all things baby? Of course it doesn’t because, in the grand scheme of things, I am still a newbie. I face a host of new experiences, new questions and new challenges every day. But, on the other hand, I have 216 days of practice to draw on and I can share that with people. I can’t say what’s right and what’s wrong. There are no sure-fire answers in this game of life, but I can share what worked for me (and what really didn’t) and hope that, somehow, they’ll be able to sieve through any advice and maybe, just maybe, find a little gem or two in there.

Do I think that I have all of the answers? No. Do I still feel like a clueless newbie a lot of the time? Yes. Do I still have to ask friends for help and advice? Absolutely. Here’s an actual text I sent to friend the other week…

So is it true that babies poop more when they’re teething, or is that just a myth…?!

Apparently it is true, in case you were wondering. Glad my baby isn’t just super-poopy for no reason. I am most definitely still learning!

So, feel free to ask me about my experiences. I’ll happily share them with you. Some might call it advice, I just call it lessons I’ve learned along the way. And if you’re new to this parenting business remember, just because people offer advice that doesn’t mean you have to take it. Weigh things up for yourself and trust your instincts. You know your baby better than anyone else, and soon you’ll be a not-very-new newbie with your own advice to share.

Laura x